Yes, that IS egg salad in my ring

We still have a lot of time—one year and a little less than a month to be exact—before the wedding, but I really need to get moving on the weight loss journey soon. I'll start next week … and this time I mean it!

My birthday was this week and it seemed to be all about eating. On my birthday eve I picked up a greasy burger and fries. On my birthday I picked up fried chicken and biscuits. The next day, my fiancée and I gorged ourselves on Mexican food. And today I finished off an egg salad sandwich with a side of waffle fries.

Up until about six months ago or so, I rarely ever ate fast food and would only frequent a restaurant maybe once a week or every two weeks. My refrigerator was always stocked with fruits and vegetables, and I would weigh my protein and put it in Ziploc bags so I knew exactly how much to eat. Despite good eating habits, over the past three years I’ve been struggling to lose weight. I had a dietician who put me on a meal plan that I followed religiously. I had a personal trainer who worked with me on strength exercises twice a week. I had another personal trainer who put me on a cardio heart rate program of running and fast walking. I trained for and completed a triathlon, as well as various 5k and 8k races. And when none of that worked, I finally visited a doctor to try to figure out why. Every test came back normal. My doctor suggested Weight Watchers. Been there. Done that. It's a good program, but it doesn’t work for me.

So, I became very discouraged and gave up. I was angry with my body for not doing what I wanted it to do, so I punished it. Stupid, I know. Earlier this year, shortly after the engagement, I decided to do home delivered meals from eDiets. The food was great, I never felt hungry and I was completely faithful to the program (no extra meals, fast food, candy, junk foods, etc.). Over a period of six weeks, I lost three pounds, sort of. My weight goes up and down about 3-5 pounds normally every week, so I hardly considered it a real loss. Again, I gave up. That’s when the real food abuse started to kick in and the shame that comes with it. I actually hid my Steak N’ Shake bag in the bottom of the garbage so that no one would see it. Very sad. You would think that would have been a "rock bottom moment," but it wasn't.

It hit me today as I was picking egg salad from my engagement ring that I can’t continue down this path. I don’t know what will work for me exactly, but I know it isn’t eating egg salad sandwiches with waffle fries or stuffing my face with fried chicken and biscuits or greasy burgers. Next week I’ll get back on track … definitely next week.